It has been requested that I recount the tragic hamster murder of 1991, that was not made public knowledge, and by "made public" I mean was kept a secret, until just a couple months ago....
I got a hamster when I was in the second grade. I hated it. I never played with it, I never cleaned out its cage. We kept it on the fridge so that we could forget that it was alive as much as possible. I know animal rights activists everywhere are duct taping their poster board to sticks so they can go picket my house as I type. Try to make me feel bad. Good luck. Anyway, tinkerbell slowly developed a cancer sore on her face. It was freaking sick. My dad and one of his friends thought it would be fun to have a little animal planet moment and perform surgery on my hamster. (I should tell you all that my dad is neither trained nor licensed in any form of medicine, animal or otherwise.) Long story short my hamster bled to death. I cried for like two days. I don't know why. That is what little girls do I guess. Pretend we don't like something until it's dead, and then create a whole scenario about how I was the only thing we lived for.
There it is. Hope my pain and agony made your day a little brighter.
Quote of the week...for your enjoyment...
"I liked Elizabethtown better when it starred Zach Braff and was called Garden State." Well done Doug, well done.
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5 comments:
I had a friend in elementary school named Kara. She had a hamster. One day our friend Katie was playing catch by tossing it up and down. Sadly, she was too close to the bannister, and didn't have that good of aim. Hamsters definitely splat when they hit the floor.
Is she a well adjusted adult or is she as scarred as I am? Actually I don't know how she could be. I mean I understand I didn't "Pay enough attention," or "love my hamster enough," but for goodness sake I didn't throw her.
I have no idea whether to laugh or throw up in my mouth a little.
Seriously, I am so confused. Hamsters. Hmm.
this is my first time reading this blog and leaving a comment. its good to be here. great story, but I thought you were going to quote me.
Tommy why does it take me to the tommy hilfiger website when I click on your name? And I did look at the next post...
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