Ciao!

I realized tonight that an exceedingly large number of my friends are off visiting exotic locales in the name of education, pleasure, or Jesus for the summer. Noticing this I decided it was time for me to start preparing for my journey...to south Johnson County. I say who needs extraordinary museums, 1,000 year old buildings, and foreign cuisine when I've got AMC 30 and 10 billion Targets all within a mile of each other. Leaning tower of Pisa, crappy building design. Mona Lisa, small and boring. AMC 30, The only place where it is possible to see a bunch of eighth graders scream and change seating arrangements 39 times in 5 minutes all while talking on a cell phone. Now that is talent.

when stress has taken over, remember what's made you laugh

As it turns out times in my life when I have the most to write about, I don't write. Sometimes because I forget I have a blog, sometimes because what is going on I don't want broadcasted on the Internet...and then something changes.

1. Perhaps a chance encounter with a middle aged man in a Quick Trip. I was minding my own business, when he loudly noticed I had a VERY slight sunburn. He then asks me if I know how to make sun tea. I say yes, he says I should get a squirt bottle and douse myself in it. Apparently it helps, at least it did when he used to work outdoors. The likelihood of me squirting myself down with tea to treat a sunburn when aloe vera is in existince is about the same as me diving head-first into a pool of mayonnaise to treat a broken foot.

2.I found out that both my sisters boyfriends were scared of me. I laughed, primarily because I had never met them.

3. I made icing for a cake in a what was apparently a dog bowl, and then put sprite instead of water in beef and broccoli...if those two things don't explain where my stress level has been, I don't know what would.

4. Got told by an african that I looked like I was into aerobics. hmmm...I wonder if the swahili word for aerobics is shoes.

Things I've learned in the past week

Never offer your seat to a pregnant woman unless you know without a shadow of a doubt that she is pregnant. Seems obvious, some people are dumb.

I whine a lot

If my sister sees anyone who is on the amazing race in real life, even if it is her least favorite person, she has something resembling a coronary, and assumes they must be the winner.

Sometimes enjoying simple seemingly trivial things can be fun if I don't have a crappy attitude.

I really love traveling with my sister.

How to get a restraining order...

When propositioning the opposite sex it is best to not do it by drunkenly rubbing your butt against their leg and asking for their phone # by going through your missed call list asking if it is their missed call 20 minutes after you met. AND then 2 months later when they politely try to ignore you and the fact that the entire thing happened, let them. Do not move so that you sit directly across from them and stare for an hour. It's weird, and they're trying to figure out why in the 2 days they were forced to spend with you INDOORS they never saw you without your sunglasses on...ok maybe that is just me.

Ha Ha I was right for once...

Bowie is not gay! He is married to a hot model. Who says a straight man

can't wear make-up and tight pants, certainly not me.

this is my family? Ah Yes Show

As anyone who knows me or browses my blog often knows my family is exceptionally odd. This weekend I went home to celebrate Easter with my dad's side of the family, and my sister who went through a Borat phase when the movie first came out is back in the phase now that it was released on dvd. She kept grabbing my mom and saying "Very Nice. How much?" Although that was mild compared to instances she deemed appropriate to yell "Sexy time." Following me into the bathroom...not sexy time. Also funny was when she thought she was being attacked by my grandmas shit tzu and she screamed bloody murder. The reason she thought it was attacking her. It was running. For those not familiar with the shit tsu, it is a small fluffy dog that weighs about 15 pounds known for it voracious appetite and incredible ability to swallow full grown humans whole.

Billy Blanks or James Bond?

I have never really understood workout videos. Every time I try to do one I get bored and never do it again. Over the past couple days I think I have finally experienced what most experience with repeated viewings of windsor pilates or tai bo...mine, not surprisingly, could be called unconventional. It all started when I bought hand weights that wrap around your hand...then Erin started watching Casino Royale, which I am unapologetically obsessed with. AND THEN I started mimicking the fight scenes like an eight year old boy. An eight year old boy with women's hand weights. I have watched it once a day for the past three days. Of course after I realized I was more than distracting when someone is trying to actually watch the movie I decided it was probably more of a solo situation. Some might call it a sickness, I just call it better than a workout video. And just in case there is any confusion, James Bond could turn Billy Blanks (Tai Bo guy) into a cowering little girl.

Now that's a tantrum I can get behind...

Last night I had agreed to babysit some of the cutest girls in the world....before I knew when KU played. I will admit that I am not the hugest sports fan, but I have a soft spot for KU basketball. Anyway as you can imagine I was disappointed because I knew the last thing 3 little girls wanted to watch was a game...I knew that until I got out of the car and was instantly told
"TIP OFF IS AT 6:05, WE HAVE 1 HOUR TO PLAY!!!!"Not only did they know when tip off was they knew all the players, the littlest one kept calling Mario Chalmers by his full name minus the Rs. I almost peed my pants. Then the game was over and the middle one had fallen asleep, when the oldest woke her up and told her they lost she threw a fit of monumental proportions. There was screaming, tears, and many threats by her to call her mom. Because her mom was going to know how to fix this. She was especially mad when she realized her bracket was screwed. It was like hanging out with friends with the exception of the tantrum and the request the youngest gave me to ask her if she pooped regularly. Best babysitting award for sure.

Proof that I NEED Fashion...

I have been once again forced to evaluate myself. I have been on spring break for the past week, and while hanging out with my sister has been a lot of fun, most of my thought life has been spent wondering why I feel like I am being lazy. Could it be that once you are used to working long hours with little time off a week off seems like an eternity with nothing to do? Possibly, but I really thought I would enjoy having nothing to do a lot more than I have been. If anything it has made me depressed. Of course it could be the fact that the sun has been playing games with my heart, and I am someone who is very affected by weather. OR could it be that I have finally found what I love doing and the absence of it makes me incredibly sad. I would like to his it is the latter of the three. Any way you spin it the week that is supposed to be a bikini clad week spent carrying on has been nothing more than a week spent wandering to what felt like nowhere, still wearing the bikini though. It is spring break after all. I did finally find the sunglasses I have been looking for everywhere. Vintage ray bans. I know you all think I have lost it, but trust me they are coming back.
On a totally different note I am very grateful for all my friends that decided 24 was worthy of a kick in the pants and helped me wave it goodbye. I would give you my flikr link, but my computer has been doing some hard drugs and won't let me access yahoo because apparently yahoo is way worse than the rock it's been doing. Just more proof that drugs are bad.

Pulling muscles...

apparently it is my thing.

a couple of weeks ago I pulled a muscle in my arm while playing air hockey. Of course flinging my body halfway across the table to make a shot didn't help, I won though. (Below is the really cool outfit I was wearing when all the body flinging occured, I know HOT.) This monday I did a lot of working out and my hamstring decided to reject my workout. Whatever.

In other news I found out my dad was the hamburgalar in the St. Patricks day before I was born. He kicked Ronald McDonald. All I could think about when I heard this was why is this the first time I am hearing about this.

Shocker...

2 posts in one day may be a record for me, but I felt like it was necessary. I have loved almost every minute of living I have done at the place I live...that is until the more recent realization that you can in fact hear everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, going on in all adjacent apartments/basements. It started when the couple moved in upstairs and were hammering at all hours of the night. Then it got cold and they would warm up a bulldozer snow plow thing in the basement. BUT starting it one time isn't enough, they will start it at least 5 times and then rev the engine for 10 minutes AT 5 AM!!! Then came the upstairs neighbors again only this time it isn't G-rated hammering keeping us up, it is extremely loud sex. Erin can attest to the fact that it sounds like they are yelling at my windows. On the one hand I am glad that they are having good sex...on the other do I really need to know that they meow or listen to Genuwine? I would say NO, that would fall under the category of TMI!!!

In Anticipation...

On February 23rd one of the most anticipated movies of 2007 will be released...alright so at least one of the most anticipated movies in my book.

I don't think this is in the movie, but the first time I saw it I cried.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQlwKFleVxQ

Hot Stuff

When people browse through the music on my computer there are many pitstops, usually accompanied by the person giving me attitude and asking "seriously, why do you have this?" Last night was no different, except that it pushed me over the edge into writing a blog about my least known crush. Kenny Rogers. When I was a child I was obsessed with him. Probably in the same way most girls liked Joey McIntyre, or I don't know...Blossom.?. I had a poster book of him. When I say poster book I am not exaggerating. It was quite large. To me Kenny symbolized all about America that was great. Perfectly coifed hair, Men in satin shirts, and skin that glowed like kryptonite exploded into his pores. Kenny was what kept the idyllic days of my youth from creeping into a world where having crushes on men 5 times my age was "weird" and "inappropriate." The crush may have ended, but Islands in a Stream that is what we are will be forever inscribed on my heart.

Hello sap alert. I feel like I am going to yak.

Strategery

When you can't figure technology out and you have to call a service person here is quite possibly the best strategy the planet Earth has ever heard. EVER.

Tommy: Just tell them you live on the plaza and this shouldn't happen to you.
Erin: (laughter)
Me: Just tell them you live on a cloud and crap rainbows so your flipping remote should work.