Tuesday, November 29, 2005

It's that time of year where I reflect on past journal entries.

How's that for a title. I leave very little to the imagination.

Last night I read the first entry of my journal for this year, which I haven't read since I wrote on February 19th.(Why I didn't journal for the first month and a half I don't know) I began reading thinking "oh this will be cool, I am sure stuff has changed." I had no idea. Here is the part I found most captivating.

Everything is changing. May You give me peace in yet another year of transition. May this be a year of sweet renewal and blessing. Isaiah 61 come soon! May I truly find myself falling deeper and deeper in love with You. May I find myself leaning on You naturally, by habit, not only when times get unbearable. May I see You move in ways I have never thought possible. I am delighted by You in my pain. You are my love. You are my peace. You are why I am.

Every single thing I prayed about has become more of a reality than I could have even conceived at that point in time. How easy is it to forget that God actually cares about what I am thinking, doing, seeing, anything? He cares even more than I care. He wants me to be happy, and I don't really think I've ever actually believed that. But it is true. It is so easy to focus my thoughts on all the crap going on in the world, even just in my family, but that is missing the point. Until Jesus comes back there will always be something for me to be upset about. If that is where I chose to direct all of my energy, everything I do will seem plagued by futility and hopelessness. I have all the hope in the world, God has my back, and my front for that matter. That is what I need to be spreading, that is what I need to be focusing on. Not terrorism, disease, or my Dad's choice in clothing. I have so much to be thankful for, God has blessed me with the most wonderful friends and the most quirky family. Thanks to all of you who have been my rocks throughout the years. I can't even begin to think of what my life would be like now without you.

3 comments:

amy said...

HERE HERE for years of transition turning out beyond our wildest dreams. *clink*

shalinn said...

as some country song says it, "I thank the bank for the money, thank God for you." i'm still praying about how it is exactly that the bank "gives" me money, but I do thank God for your awesomeness in friendship and your dad's choice in clothing, which let's just be honest, brings joy and laughter to the conversation, and joy and laughter are definitely from God :)

Anonymous said...

tiff...found your blog via shalinn's. completely freakin' hilarious...one question 'who are you and where do you come from?". i miss all these stories but now i can read about them and laugh all by my lonesome.