5. Men who insist on car flirting.
-(Sorry to the readers of the male persuasion on this one. Although women may car flirt too, I just haven't been forced against my will to endure that.) You know what I am talking about though. It usually rears its ugly head in one of the following ways. Keeping pace with my car, yelling out the window, or my favorite honking. Honestly, what is honking going to do? Put me in a trance where I suddenly lose all control of myself and pull over my car so we can have what will obviously be a very profound and meaningful conversation. Yeah, and Ryan Adams doesn't do drugs, he's just a little different.
4. Paris Hilton
- If I have to explain why you don't get me at all.
3. People who are 23 and act like they are in middle school.
- You know the types, you swear they are 12 year olds trapped inside an adults body. They have a need to draw attention to themselves using any mean possible. Usually smell of either B.O. or to much cologne.
2. People who think I need to try things like camping.
-Trust me there are just some things I don't need to try in order to know I don't like them. Those people also forget I lived in the middle of the woods in an un-airconditioned cabin with an outdoor bathroom for a month in the middle of the summer. There were large insects in my shower. Nothing was anywhere close to clean. Take away the cabin and replace it with a tent, and get rid of the bathroom all together. Yeah, camping sounds like a real joy. What are you nuts? I would rather be flung from a moving vehicle.
1. Our Neighbor.
-She hasn't struck lately, but when she does it is hilariously annoying.
- she climbed over our fence to show Erin how to trim our Peonies. (She's in her 60's)
- came over to "compliment" a flower arrangement I was doing and to inform me that the few step marks in the snow on her lawn from a frisbee game the night before irritated her because she's "had kids, now she wants a yard."
- came over to tell us we need to weed, and rake.
- Referred to my roommate Erin as Tina. Why? I don't know.
- When a ground squirrel ran over my arm and I screamed like a woman in labor she looked at me like I was nuts and reminded me it was more scared of me than I was of it. Thanks, that helps.
5 comments:
My girl - with you on the car flirting, can we somehow fit in "guys who honk at you while running." Yes, red faced, panting, with sweat dripping down my face while the aroma of BO fills all that which is in my proximity...as Paris Hilton would say..."that's hot."
tiff..where u be on new years eve this year? me and sara wants to know. peace.
Harumph!
Look. The only reason I honked was that when I stuck my head out the window and yelled, it didn't get your attention. What else was I supposed to do? I had just put on some new cologne and I wanted to find out if you could smell it from over there or not.
Your neighbor seems pretty on-the-level to me. Maybe if you went camping some time you would understand the importance of not acting nuts when there are squirrels after you. It just heightens their interest. Get it? Because they like nuts? You probably get it.
I know, I'm about as funny as Paris Hilton... Not the person. She's hilarious. The hotel. But then again, the hotel was never meant to be funny.
Love,
Igford.
ms.warren, I find a well placed middle finger along with a not so genuine smile is very satisfying in those situations. Seems like what Jesus would do.
Josh...don't know yet. Why?
ahhh it's pat, back again. You sure are doing a lot to keep me out of the know. Nice alf shirt by the way. What does harumph mean?
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