10. Commercials for toothpaste where the model is using no toothpaste.
- Just for doing that I want to squirt toothpaste all over you and dump cheetos on your
head. Here's an idea, use the product your trying to sell.
9. Talking on the phone for 2 hours to someone who I A. just saw or B. lives 10 minutes away.
-Unless there has been an emergency in the 5 minutes since I've seen you, don't call. If you live 10 minutes away and would rather me sacrifice the use of my right arm for the rest of the night rather than have me drive 10 minutes, do you really need to talk to me that badly?Hint:The answer is no.
8. Pretending to have a really genuine conversation with someone who wouldn't know what REAL was if a UFO filled with unicorns landed in their backyard.
- Do I need to comment on how horrendous this sort of situation is for me. They are the prime contenders for Tiffany's amazing foot in mouth show.
"Hey! You look ADORABLE!"-them
"Uh, I just woke up. I am wearing a tshirt with paint all over it. I HAVE
MASCARA LEFT OVER FROM LAST NIGHT SMEARED ACROSS MY FACE!"-me"Very cool, it's like a new kind of fashion makeup."-them
"Stop sucking up you moron."(And cue the door slam in face)-me (I will then promptly feel guilty and remain that way for all eternity)
7. People who take there kids to starbucks like it is some sort of caffeinated playground. (the one in the village is particularly bad.) I am fairly sure that starbucks is more annoyed than I will ever be. They got a sign that says "unattended children will receive an espresso and a free puppy." That would be a new pet peeve, Starbucks filled with children hopped up on espresso smack-petting puppies (you know the way kids pet dogs, it is more of a soft punch than anything else.)
6.Anything by Daniel Bedingfield.
5.People who ride their bikes down busy streets during rush hour.
-What is the matter with these people? Are they going 45 miles per hour? No! They are typically barely moving at all. What is wrong with I don't know 4:00 or 7:00? AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE, WHY CAN'T I REMOVE THE LINE IN BETWEEN MY POINT AND MY COMMENT!!!
I am pulling the really annoying thing I like to call the "Full House" move. (Used more as a ploy to retain the people who tuned in to watch one show, but got sucked in by the amazing musical interludes or possibly Kimmy Gibler.)
To Be Continued...
(What a cliff hanger)
6 comments:
I'm confused by #1. Are they actually brushing their teeth with no paste on the brush? Because that, I don't understand.
I mean, are we to believe that this is some kind of magical toothbrush? If so, where did you get it? How does it clean teeth? I want answers.
Yours truly.
i prefer reid kapple dressed as kimmy gibbler... (were you in ichthus yet when we did that skit, tiff?)
i too have problems with the whole bike issue...how is that a thing to do? i also have a neighbor who plays catch with his small child with the dad standing in the driveway and the SMALL CHILD standing in the middle of the street. nice.
Igford you have officially stumped me. Who are you? You have to be someone I know because you are hilarious, big pants and all.
igford rocks. he/she is generally very polite in his/her comments and with a signature like "yours truly," he/she seems very devoted to the danger zone. we need more ambiguous people like igford in the world. since his/her sex is unknown however, i will henceforth have to refer to him/her as pat.
Stop sucking up to Pat.
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