Was it really a good idea to take out her WISDOM teeth?

I realize the weekend has passed by a couple days, but I simply can’t go without doing a recap. I went home early Friday afternoon because my sister had her wisdom teeth taken out and wanted some company for a couple of days. I wish I would have practiced some bladder control exercises before departing because I have never laughed so hard in my life. It wasn’t at all shocking that she was milking her situation for all it was worth…and still is nearly a week later. I got a call yesterday solely because she was now able to eat chips. Seriously. My mind can stop pacing around the maze in my brain, the cold sweats can stop, the panic attacks may cease, all because the queen is now able to consume chips. I got a call today because she went to the doctor and wanted to let me know that this “surgery” (she keeps referring to the extraction of her wisdom teeth as "surgery". All the while making it sound as if she had an organ transplant, and her blood is now pumping with the help of a baboon heart.) saga may one day come to a close…but that day is most certainly not today, and likely will not be tomorrow either. The following are all real conversations that took place.

Place: a phone call to my cell phone the day of the “surgery”
Me: “Hey?...how are you awake right now didn’t the put you under? How are you?”
Courtney: “They did, I could only sleep for a couple of hours.”
Me: “O. Well…How’d it go?”
Courtney: “I balled when they were going to stick me with the IV and they told me they were going to give me the mask they used when they put old people to sleep…only I thought by “put to sleep” they meant like how they put dogs to sleep. So I freaked out even more. Then they put the mask on me and I don’t really remember much.”
Me: “O….well…uh...that was dramatic.”

Place: Mall food court; Courtney is breaking a pretzel into the tiniest pieces imaginable and chewing them with her front teeth, or sucking on it and then spitting it out when chewing became to much work.
Courtney: “I can’t feel this part of my mouth.” (proceeds to smack herself in the face)
Me: “I remember being numb for a couple days, it will go away.”
Courtney: (Clearly not buying that I know anything) “I am going to sue the doctor for paralyzing me.”
Me: “Paralysis, suing. That seems about right.”
Courtney: “Can I sue him for paralyzing me?”
Me: “You could if he ACTUALLY PARALYZED you.”
Courtney: “I am suing him.” (hits herself in the face again)

Place: home after a day of resting
Mom: “Are you okay Court?”
Courtney: “No. Whitney needs to go get me a frosty from Wendy’s…and she won’t.”
Whitney: “What?! You didn’t even ask me if I would go to Wendy’s. “
Courtney: “You should just do it.”
(uproarious laughter coming from everyone but Courtney)

Place: Home. I had been revamping a topiary for about 30 minutes when she looks over.
Courtney: "What are you doing? What is that thing?"
Me: "It is a topiary. I am re-mossing it."
Courtney: "You aren't putting that in your apartment are you? It looks like a bowl of grass."

This weekend has convinced me that my family needs a reality show. I am fairly sure that it would beat Hogan knows Best. I would be by far the most boring one on the show, like the sister you’d never see on the Osbornes, but I would always be in the background shaking my head and laughing…