Further Evidence that I was adopted.

This weekend wrapped up what has been a 3 weekend streak going back to Topeka. I had been moving for 2 days and hardly had the energy to go home, but had to in order to partake in the visual catastrophe that is a dance recital. The dance recital itself was fine…it was as always the people I was with that were entertaining.

Act 1: What seemed to be a normal car ride to the recital was corrupted when my dad had what I can only assume was temporary amnesia and thought he was a race car driver and nearly gave me a heart attack about 8 times. The soundtrack for this little death spin, music he had to “choreograph” a fireworks show to….

Act 2: My grandma shouting at me during the finale- “You should design old lady clothes!!! I can’t find any anywhere.” She normally isn’t so loud, but I think she is losing her hearing. I obviously suggested she look into wearing more halter tops and hot shorts. She shook her head at me.

Act 3: In the bathroom at chili’s my sister is in one of the 2 stalls and there is no toilet paper. She asks me to get her some, but there is someone in the other stall. I give her a paper towel and she freaks and begins yelling who knows what. I accuse her of being high maintenance, and she decides the most appropriate way to deal with that accusation is yelling “I can’t use that, it will hurt my crotch!!!” as loudly as she can, really emphasizing the word crotch. Later I tell the story to my mom, Court overheard it and pitifully asked if we could not talk about it because her crotch was still hurting and she was trying not to think about it. I understand my laughter encourages this behavior, but how can you not laugh at that.

All in all it was a great weekend. Moving is not fun, actually moving is about the least amount of fun I can think of having, but the new digs are absolute perfection. AND I had some of my favorite people helping me. If you lifted a box on my behalf expect at least a good game pat in return, and perhaps if you are lucky a stunning rendition of free bird on air guitar complete with thrasher kicks and windmill arms from yours truly.