What do most people do on vacations?

Run through the hotel at one in the morning to escape a fire that is engulfing the building? If you are a part of my weekend vacation than yes, that is exactly what you would do. I should clarify that the "fire" turned out to be the result of some idiot's decision to parade their stupidity around like they were starting a movement to promote mindless acts of idiocy. In their attempt to make their movement public the ringleader attempted to extinguish what in their mind must have looked like something being swallowed whole by flames. (Probably seen with the help of cocaine, most likely snorted off of a toilet seat.) Lesson from this: Don't use a fire extinguisher unless you have an actual FIRE, symbolic fire does not count. (Specifically if you are in a hotel.) They release enough smoke to bring down King Kong and will cause an earsplitting noise to pierce the ears of many potentially irate people who will find you and force you to listen to Kenny G and eat gluttonous amounts of creamed peas. Yes. I am that mean.

Secondly, 17 year old girls are weird. I know I used to be one. However, I fully remember using complete sentences without having to delve into my word bank and reuse. Apparently someone has been brainwashing these young things and now like every other like word is like like. Like I am like totally like not kidding. You're like totally like irritated with me like right now, aren't you? Drive me up a wall and shoot me. I just about lost my patience on a couple occasions but stopped myself short of yelling anything profane and causing 2 teenage girls to cry the tears of a misunderstood generation. What has happened to me? I used a filter, I fear I am loosing my edge....No (laughter under my breath) That will never happen.