This weekend marked my mom’s 24th mother’s day. In honor of her bringing 3 vivacious, brilliant, and shockingly beautiful girls into the world my grandparents decided they should talk about sex with her in front of us. Their conversation was mostly surrounding a local bar’s decision to allow girls to dance on the bar (a little late to get on the coyote ugly bandwagon, but it is T-town), but strayed in to sex and strip joints on occasion. Classy, I know. Hearing your grandma yell “they might as well make it a strip club!!!” is not the most comforting thing in the world. My sisters and I managed to stay out of the conversation barring our looks to each other until my mom felt the need to include us when she loudly with the kind of conviction that would make OJ Simpson scream for his mommy proclaimed “I know you girls probably don’t think this is a big deal (dancing on bars), but I just don’t like it!!!” Explain to me how sitting on a couch watching Spice World of all things makes us guilty of being fine with going to strip clubs on the weekends? Did you hear me friggin' Spice World! If that is indicative of anything it is that there is no way we have friends…She should be ranting about her daughters’ lack of social skills. I obviously chime in with “You’re right, after you guys go to bed we go out and strip, even Whit (who is 17). I don’t see what the big deal is.”
Somehow I managed to get told “Happy Mother’s Day” 3 times by people who know I don’t got no chittlins'. Apparently Mother’s day is now for any woman of childbearing age. Soon the name will be changed to “Happy Post-Puberty Woman's Day!” Next year I better get some sort of plant potted in a teapot or I will be pissed!
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3 comments:
If you makes you feel any better, I had some people say Happy Mother's Day to me too! Here's my question, since when did I enter the child bearing age?
And speaking of Spice World, I have to dress up as a band manager for a scavenger hunt, maybe you could pass along some tips for my band "K-Dubb and the Spice Boyz"
I told everyone Happy Mother's Day. It didn't matter if they were child bearing age or even if they were a woman.
Should we only wish a merry Christmas to Christ? Mother's day is a day to celebrate our mothers. It is not a day where only mothers are allowed to be happy. I have a mother. You have a mother. Do they not deserve our joy on their special day of recognition? So to all I say; Have a happy mother's day when it comes around next year.
post! post! post! i need to be shocked by your deviant behavior - otherwise you will lose your title!
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