How to get a restraining order...

When propositioning the opposite sex it is best to not do it by drunkenly rubbing your butt against their leg and asking for their phone # by going through your missed call list asking if it is their missed call 20 minutes after you met. AND then 2 months later when they politely try to ignore you and the fact that the entire thing happened, let them. Do not move so that you sit directly across from them and stare for an hour. It's weird, and they're trying to figure out why in the 2 days they were forced to spend with you INDOORS they never saw you without your sunglasses on...ok maybe that is just me.

Ha Ha I was right for once...

Bowie is not gay! He is married to a hot model. Who says a straight man

can't wear make-up and tight pants, certainly not me.

this is my family? Ah Yes Show

As anyone who knows me or browses my blog often knows my family is exceptionally odd. This weekend I went home to celebrate Easter with my dad's side of the family, and my sister who went through a Borat phase when the movie first came out is back in the phase now that it was released on dvd. She kept grabbing my mom and saying "Very Nice. How much?" Although that was mild compared to instances she deemed appropriate to yell "Sexy time." Following me into the bathroom...not sexy time. Also funny was when she thought she was being attacked by my grandmas shit tzu and she screamed bloody murder. The reason she thought it was attacking her. It was running. For those not familiar with the shit tsu, it is a small fluffy dog that weighs about 15 pounds known for it voracious appetite and incredible ability to swallow full grown humans whole.