Seriously?!

So remember that time I wrote a post about how I was going to start posting more, and then I didn't....that was awesome.

Nothing amazingly funny has really happened...that was until last night. It has become a tradition for a group of us to meet up at 75th street brewery on Wednesday nights, primarily for the 75 cent beer they start serving at 10. This has been a fun and fairly uneventful occasion, that is until last night. I don't know who had the brain child of setting gourds all over a bar, but someone did. It started with gourds being thrown at us and ended with us badgering a drunk cowboy and a man who had eyes that looked like they had been dipped in peroxide and stuck back in their sockets (they were bloodshot) for a cd they had taken. The middle went something like
"Hey, who wants to go see if they will put this cd (Katie's cd) on"-drunk cowboy
"I am not going to. I think it might piss off the guy singing and playing the guitar"-katie
"I am going"-drunk cowboy
"So do you have bad allergies?"-me
(loud laughter)
"Oh are my eyes red?"- man who said like more than a 13 year old at a Nick Lachey concert
"Really red they look like they hurt....I really wasn't trying to be rude." - me
"Hey Tiff when do you think you will start blogging again?" - Graham
"Tomorrow." - me
My favorite part was when bloodshot man told me he wasn't drunk. Oh yeah and when they tried to tell me that if a guy gives you his hat in Texas it means you are going home with him, no matter how many other girls he talks to that night. How flattering! You mean you give me your hat, go make out with 15 other girls, but I still get the undue privilege of going home with you? What kind of mental degenerate came up with that? I can't say for sure but I think alcohol may have been involved.

Dearest blog,

I am really sorry for letting you go. If you were human you would be 20 pounds heavier, in mismatched socks, and sporting a haircut that screams “when I was a child I ate kitty litter." Luckily, you aren't human, but you are in need of some new material. Honestly, I have kind of been a hermit for the past month. So unless endless diatribes about my cooking endeavors or my favorite sweatpants thrill you, you would have felt dull and lifeless. With the exception of my grandma talking about her "gay" male friend in a high pitched singing voice (I say "gay" in quotes because for whatever reason she thought she needed to put it in air quotes) I have had few funny stories to tell. I am slowly integrating myself back into the social scene, so the promise of new enchantingly funny posts loom in the not to distant future. Get excited.

Your not so faithful writer,

Madonna (I think I should use a pen name, and I think Madonna is appropriate)