A Serious Note

Have you ever been reminiscing on the past and realize your life is not at all what you thought it was going to be, but that it is better than you ever would have guessed? I have never been one to really have a plan for what I think is going to happen, but it struck me the other day that if someone told me even 3 1/2 months ago that I would be working in insurance I would have laughed at them and probably given them a real good look at my middle finger. Even when I started here I was anticipating the worst. Horribly mean people who are all out to get me, and a job that I loathe with every ounce of my being. I am typically an optimist, but I was so skeptical entering a job in the "real" world. (Which I was told I had never been a part of.) I have learned a vast amount in a month and a half, more than I could even begin to write in a post. Most of which revolves not around insurance ,although I do know a lot about that now, but around the human condition.

Had I remained in my position at the church I am sure I would still love people, but I don't think I would have truly learned to love the way I have here. The people I thought were going to be "hard," the people I thought would make my life miserable, those people were no where to be found. It has convicted me like few things in my life have. I have been given the great privilege to see into their lives, lives plagued by infidelity, heartache, depression, the list could go on and on. At one point, although I would have never said it out loud, I think I saw compassion as nothing more than pity. I know now that unless I want to get on my knees with the hope of getting others on their feet, I am in it for the wrong reason. If I am not willing to put them before myself how are they ever going to see that Christ truly can permeate a person's being. If I am so selfish that I can't go out of my way to help people in need, even if all they need a cup of coffee or someone to talk to, than I have surrendered before the fight has begun. God has put me here, I know it, I feel it in the depth of my being. I am humbled everyday by the kindness shown to me, by people who have no reason to be kind other than "it's the right thing to do." I am convinced that at the root of who we are, very few of us (by us I mean humans) actually want to be mean and conniving. People are longing for generosity, kindness, and most importantly love. They are longing for something to pull them out of the mundane, out of the emptiness that they have found themselves in. Christ is not mundane, and He is certainly not empty. He is longing to be found by those who do not know Him, and we are His vessels.

I know this doesn't run with the usual tone of my blogs, but it has been on my mind a lot lately so I felt compelled to share.