What is normal?

nothing you will read in the next 5 minutes.

1.Thanksgiving
Anytime we have a large family gathering I feel like I am on some sort of reality show where they put a couple of normal people in the midst of a lot of larger than life characters that have nothing better to do than terrorize the village of normal. My autistic 2nd cousin played Hawaii 5-0 and Star Wars on the flute/clarinet for 6 hours with a brief (and by brief I mean 10 minutes) intermission for lunch. I mean this in the nicest way, but it sounded like someone was repeatedly smacking a bag of cats against the wall. (I guess there really is nothing nice about that.) My dad kept most of the men busy showing them his gun collection. ( side note: he somehow managed to get attacked by a pheasant a week ago.) My grandma didn't recognize me, she also thought I was in the paper the next morning...I was not. My aunt who is 33 came in wearing her fiance's letter jacket from the early 90's and complaining about it in a way that you know she's trying to evoke either compliments or jealously. I don't do events like that very well. I want to get a microphone and tell everyone what I am doing, where I am living, and that I am not dating anyone that way I only have to do it once. Then they can all give me that look of pity because I am the oldest woman EVER to not be married. Spare me, I am happy, I don't care. Whitney and I watched a lot of FRIENDS and went and saw RENT aka the worst movie ever made. Six words: dancing 80's singer with a mullet. If it sounds intriguing, funny, anything other than horrible, you're wrong.

2. I left this weekend with the nickname Bruce.

3. There are more white-tailed deer on the continent than ever before. (that was just for you Sarah.)


uhhh... I was just looked at in all seriousness and told not "to mess with a grieving widow"