Weird needs about 12 more letters, all of which are consonants, to fully explain my life.

For whatever reason people who were given more than their allotment of weird in their DNA are very drawn to me. My life has definitely been seasoned by these types of people. (Sometimes a little rosemary makes something just that much better. There are also times when it is more reminiscent of getting cayenne pepper poured directly into your eyes.) Some become close friends, others remain legends in the vault of stories I carry with me, and whip out when I am reminded of them. This weekend only added to the stories.

I was walking out of Wal-Mart when I hear
"Excuse Me?"
I, thinking I must have dropped something/ left my card behind/ had a wide open fly said
"Yes"
The woman staring at me then asks "Are you Jewish?"
To which I quizzically respond "No.?."
Her reply was "Oh, I couldn't tell."

I know what you are all thinking. No, I was not running around the store screaming "SHALOM!!!!" at the top of my lungs. I didn't even so much as step into the Kosher food section.

To cap off the whole story I saw her driving away and she drove a big white car with huge red letters on the side that read "HAVE A MITZVAH TODAY!"

Next story: Place: Target. The one in Ward Parkway. It is my favorite not because of the selection, but because of the staff, they are always doing crazy things. Singing at the top of their lungs while they ring me up, you know the usual.

Surprisingly it was not the staff doing weird things this trip. First, I see a mom and son (about 10 years old) in the underwear section. The mom looks at the boy and says "you are wired.." in a "seriously child if you don't stop running in place and screaming I will not hesitate to put this bra over your head and make you run around the store saying I am a pretty little girl" sort of way and proceeds to dump a bottle of aquafina on his head. As she does this the boy yells "I AM STILL WIRED!!!"

Then when I am leaving the bathroom a brother and sister come into THE WOMAN'S BATHROOM!!! The boy is about 12 or 13 so it isn't like he needs help or doesn't realize there's a difference. I don't know why he was in there. He did feel the need to share that he was probably going to "cut the cheese." I really appreciated that warning.

I think if these encounters suddenly ended I would not know how to function. How do you react when you are surrounded by perfect socially acceptable beings?! That is a kind of alternate universe I don't want to go to, it just isn't fun. And to be quite honest most the people I love wouldn't be there.