Cover your mouth up like you got SARS....if you hang around my sister.

It was a fairly normal Christmas this year for once in my life! I am figuring a normal Christmas for me is anything but that. It was seemingly deficient in the things that usually make Christmas worthy of an annual admittance to the local mental institution. Only 2 people cried!
Here are a couple of highlights:

-I sprayed myself in the face with perfume in the middle of the mall. Right in the eyes. My eyes were red and burning for the rest of the night.

-Court tells Whit she needs to brush her teeth because her breath stinks. (She is rude about it, because it isn't in Court's nature to be discrete.) How does she know if Whit's been brushing her teeth? She regularly feels her toothbrush to see if it is wet. After that stunning peek into the world of caring way to much about others hygiene I state:
"You lack a filter."

To which she replies:

"I am tired, NOT LACK OF FILTER.... What is lack of filter?"


-Home video that I wish I could get on the internet because it is begging to be seen by more than my immediate family.

It is footage of our first trip to the ocean when I was in 5th grade. Every one of my family members is perfectly embodied in their actions in the 3 minutes of tape.

It begins with Whitney, who was 4 at the time, walking on all fours (not crawling, on her hands and feet with her butt in the air) across the beach. She then gets slammed by a wave, and is walking like a drunk up the beach. She is met by Court who saw the whole thing, dabs Whit's face and then snatches the towel away so Whitney won't take it. Whit then gets on all fours and begins pecking at the ground... don't know why, and then lays down. Courtney keeps going about two feet away from the water and them screaming like water is a foreign substance brought here by martians in order to wipe out the human race FOREVER!!! My mom (who will not go under water because to her getting your hair wet is similar to getting your skinned gnawed off by a flesh eating bacteria) gets knocked over by a kid on a boogie board and falls over, once she regains her balance and stands again she gets knocked over by a wave. My dad is standing about knee deep in water throwing rocks into the ocean, another puzzler. Whitney finds 2 kids who want to be like her and she leads them back across the beach on all fours. She then goes and picks up sand and throws it at what I am guessing was her attempt to get it into water, but she stands so far away she is throwing it on her band of followers. And you never see me because apparently I was safely wading at neck deep, or attempting to catch non-existent waves.

It lacked the usual "I got locked in a dungeon when I was 3 months old and this is my first time seeing sunlight" drama, but was still a hysterically weird, quirky, and wonderful weekend at home. If you want a funnier Christmas story read Sarah's post. She has the only father that gives my dad a run for the weirdest dad stories ever award.