New Years. A time for celebration, sequins, and false eyelashes...okay maybe that is just something I do. I glittered up and hopped in my car like a rhinestone cowboy(girl) ready to take on the very wild Rodeo Drive. Watch out 2006 there is a new glamour girl in town and she isn't afraid to wear sweats to work or stilettos to the store. You just never know when I will strike...
Some of the high points of the last day of 2005:
I was at my grandma's 70th birthday party and my sister kept asking "What is aniece?" I looked at her like she had to be kidding, but I know better. I started laughing and explained to her what A NIECE was. I think she may need therapy. She openly admits that her role model is Jessica Simpson. I, for one, am shocked.
This may be a low point:
We were playing trivial pursuit and the following exchange took place:
"What actor's pot bellied pig"
Me: interrupting the person asking the question yelled"GEORGE CLOONEY"
Everyone: confused looks, and a shaking head.
I was right.
Why I retain such useless information I don't know, but I do. I am really good at Trivial Pursuit because of it.
Later in the evening while watching New Years in NYC I began to think about being there with 8,999 other people for 9 hours. Honestly, my thoughts were surrounding the fact that finding a bathroom in that city is about as worthwhile as searching for the lost city of Atlantis in my basement. And this is what I felt the need to share with the whole room.
"That is like hell without cats."
To which Graham replied "the animal or the musical?"
I obviously replied "either."
Can you imagine. Being freezing cold surrounded by obnoxious people who push, Not being able to see past 5 feet, with the exception of the times the "smelly" guy with far too much body hair who has managed to drink my body weight in Natural Light insists on dancing around, AND you haven't peed since you left this morning. On top of all of that there are small animals that meow and smell like poop, and people in spandex with furry headgear and face paint frolicking around. If that doesn't describe hell, don't talk to me, I won't understand you.
Lastly, I got drunk dialed by my sister @ 1:45 in the morning while she was in the car with my dad. When she asked why I was still up and I replied "why are you calling me if you didn't think I would be up?" She got really pissed and held the phone away from her head and made me listen to a conversation she had with my dad. I talked to her yesterday and she had no recollection of the phone call. I am going to start using drunk dials as black male. Just a warning for you drunk dialers out there.
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4 comments:
"This is like hell without cats"
I don't understand. Are you saying "Having no cats around is like hell"? Or are you saying "This is like hell, except that there are no cats?" If it is the latter, then does that make it better or worse than hell?
i think black males everywhere will thank you to revise that last sentence.
it's the next to the last sentence actually miky, and with that logic, nieces, jessica simpson, the natural light drinkin' smelly guy with far too much body hair, and all types of cats everywhere are probably also offended, though i'm sure tiff doesn't care. for that matter, tiff may have offended satan - i've heard he joins tiff in his hatred for all things cat-like.
my own personal hell is an amusement park full of cats in Mexico...does that count?
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