Give me control of a PA system, and I will likely us it for evil

As a toast to the end of the week and all its glory I am going to begin every Friday by sharing a very personal list. No, not my fantasy dating draft picks for the 2005-2006 dating season. Although that list is very interesting, and may have a few surprises that ain't it people so stop doing that dance and sit down. It is that time of day when I walk down memory lane and take brief pit stops at the moments in which I was reduced to nothing but a muttering human being with a bright red face. Ah yes it is embarrassing moment time, which apparently is 2:22 pm.

embarrassing moment # 1

I was sitting in a rocking chair in the basement of Christ Church. I should mention that I was wearing a skirt, the story will lose all effect if that isn't known. I was just chatting away when all of the sudden Mike yanks down the back of my chair. I freak out and my legs go a'flailing. Which wouldn't have really been that big of a deal if an unnamed gentleman wouldn't have been sitting directly across from me. Let's just say he got a show. The absolutely mortified expression on his face let me know just how great a show it was. Pretty sure he is scarred for life. You're welcome buddy.

embarrassing moment # 2

In seventh grade everyone was divided up into teams. I was on the tornados. Whooohooo. Mind you I most certainly was still in the "tiffany looks like a male with long puffy red hair stage." (I have pictures if you don't believe me.) I show up to school one day wearing my tornados t-shirt, and white jeans. Oh hell yeah I rocked the white jeans, tapered legs and all. Turns out my math teacher had the same idea for an outfit. The only thing wrong is that my math teacher was male. It may not sound like much now, but for a 7th grade girl to show up dressed like her male math teacher that was the same age as my dad was absolutely mortifying. Now that I think about it I don't know who I am more worried for. Men wearing white jeans definitely outranks women in the "really you want to buy/wear those" department.

I don't think this is bad enough to make an actual embarrassment list, but I did get on the PA system at work a couple hours ago and severely butchered what I was supposed to say. I hope dropping colorful language over the loud speakers isn't grounds for termination. Guess we'll see.

There you have it. A stellar beginning to what can only get worse.

As a parting note I would like to give a shout out to the sis. I found out last night she has officially been banned from ever going to a Motel 6 again. Well done Court, I have been trying to do that for years.

Old clothes and things that smell, one in the same if you are me

All morning I kept smelling this foul stench, and could not for the life of me figure out where it was coming from. Then the moment of truth came, that smell was coming from me. Ughhhhh. I pulled out a sweater this morning from the back of my closet that I haven't worn for a year, and apparently it picked up an odor that can only be described as a mix of thrift store and B.O. What the hell has been going on in the back of my closet? I feel like the kid that no one wants to sit next to at lunch because their parents are to afraid to have a talk with them concerning the benefits of using deodorant. Just a friendly reminder that it is a good idea to wash your clothes from last winter before wearing them again this winter.

What is this strange new world?

As most of you probably know I recently started a new job . I am very confused by the new training I am receiving. I had to go through a tutorial yesterday for 30 minutes on how to use a telephone. Why? No freaking clue. One of the slides was literally instructions on how to hang up a phone. If I can't figure out how to hang up the phone I would be extremely concerned about my job performance in other more complex area's like turning on a computer. It was also made very clear to me about 5 or 6 times that insider trading is not allowed. Man it is like they are inside my head, there goes my plan to obtain lots of money and take over the world. I feel like I am in kindergarten for adults. I really don't know what that means, but that is what it feels like.

Honestly though I have really liked it so far. The people who work here are fabulous! I did have to make some slight adjustments to my cube. In a move that can only be called boldly shocking I covered the grey and navy blue with green and tan fabric. I can't work in an eternally cloudy day. Maybe that should be the direction my business turns, cube decorating.