Ciao!

I realized tonight that an exceedingly large number of my friends are off visiting exotic locales in the name of education, pleasure, or Jesus for the summer. Noticing this I decided it was time for me to start preparing for my journey...to south Johnson County. I say who needs extraordinary museums, 1,000 year old buildings, and foreign cuisine when I've got AMC 30 and 10 billion Targets all within a mile of each other. Leaning tower of Pisa, crappy building design. Mona Lisa, small and boring. AMC 30, The only place where it is possible to see a bunch of eighth graders scream and change seating arrangements 39 times in 5 minutes all while talking on a cell phone. Now that is talent.

when stress has taken over, remember what's made you laugh

As it turns out times in my life when I have the most to write about, I don't write. Sometimes because I forget I have a blog, sometimes because what is going on I don't want broadcasted on the Internet...and then something changes.

1. Perhaps a chance encounter with a middle aged man in a Quick Trip. I was minding my own business, when he loudly noticed I had a VERY slight sunburn. He then asks me if I know how to make sun tea. I say yes, he says I should get a squirt bottle and douse myself in it. Apparently it helps, at least it did when he used to work outdoors. The likelihood of me squirting myself down with tea to treat a sunburn when aloe vera is in existince is about the same as me diving head-first into a pool of mayonnaise to treat a broken foot.

2.I found out that both my sisters boyfriends were scared of me. I laughed, primarily because I had never met them.

3. I made icing for a cake in a what was apparently a dog bowl, and then put sprite instead of water in beef and broccoli...if those two things don't explain where my stress level has been, I don't know what would.

4. Got told by an african that I looked like I was into aerobics. hmmm...I wonder if the swahili word for aerobics is shoes.

Things I've learned in the past week

Never offer your seat to a pregnant woman unless you know without a shadow of a doubt that she is pregnant. Seems obvious, some people are dumb.

I whine a lot

If my sister sees anyone who is on the amazing race in real life, even if it is her least favorite person, she has something resembling a coronary, and assumes they must be the winner.

Sometimes enjoying simple seemingly trivial things can be fun if I don't have a crappy attitude.

I really love traveling with my sister.

How to get a restraining order...

When propositioning the opposite sex it is best to not do it by drunkenly rubbing your butt against their leg and asking for their phone # by going through your missed call list asking if it is their missed call 20 minutes after you met. AND then 2 months later when they politely try to ignore you and the fact that the entire thing happened, let them. Do not move so that you sit directly across from them and stare for an hour. It's weird, and they're trying to figure out why in the 2 days they were forced to spend with you INDOORS they never saw you without your sunglasses on...ok maybe that is just me.

Ha Ha I was right for once...

Bowie is not gay! He is married to a hot model. Who says a straight man

can't wear make-up and tight pants, certainly not me.

this is my family? Ah Yes Show

As anyone who knows me or browses my blog often knows my family is exceptionally odd. This weekend I went home to celebrate Easter with my dad's side of the family, and my sister who went through a Borat phase when the movie first came out is back in the phase now that it was released on dvd. She kept grabbing my mom and saying "Very Nice. How much?" Although that was mild compared to instances she deemed appropriate to yell "Sexy time." Following me into the bathroom...not sexy time. Also funny was when she thought she was being attacked by my grandmas shit tzu and she screamed bloody murder. The reason she thought it was attacking her. It was running. For those not familiar with the shit tsu, it is a small fluffy dog that weighs about 15 pounds known for it voracious appetite and incredible ability to swallow full grown humans whole.

Billy Blanks or James Bond?

I have never really understood workout videos. Every time I try to do one I get bored and never do it again. Over the past couple days I think I have finally experienced what most experience with repeated viewings of windsor pilates or tai bo...mine, not surprisingly, could be called unconventional. It all started when I bought hand weights that wrap around your hand...then Erin started watching Casino Royale, which I am unapologetically obsessed with. AND THEN I started mimicking the fight scenes like an eight year old boy. An eight year old boy with women's hand weights. I have watched it once a day for the past three days. Of course after I realized I was more than distracting when someone is trying to actually watch the movie I decided it was probably more of a solo situation. Some might call it a sickness, I just call it better than a workout video. And just in case there is any confusion, James Bond could turn Billy Blanks (Tai Bo guy) into a cowering little girl.